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5. "Mandarin manicure, DEA in pursuit," -- Rick Ross, 'No Church in the Wild Freestyle'
You might think a Mandarin manicure is some sort of bad-ass Chinese mafia thing where they cut off a dude's fingers. But actually, Rick Ross is bragging about stopping to get a manicure for his fingers even as the D.E.A. is trying to nab him for slinging coke. And it's no ordinary manicure -- in a Mandarin manicure, a papaya or pomegranate enzyme masque enriched with fruit enzymes and shea butter is applied to remove dead skin cells and hydrate even the driest hands. Rick Ross hasn't gone soft -- yet -- but his hands have.
4. "B---- my closet so big I swear I got lost," -- Young Jeezy, 'F--- Up Da City'
Along with Line No. 5 above, we're really seeing some brags by rappers in 2012, way beyond the normal "girls, drugs, money, cars" quartet of topics. Young Jeezy might be taking a cue from fellow Atlanta natives 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' and substituting "clothes, nails, jewelry, butt" as the things to brag about. How long until a typical Sunday for Young Jeezy and Rick Ross is hitting the mall then getting mani-pedis?
3. "Pay n----s no concern, ain't no DiGiorno, I'm deliverin'," -- T.I., 'I'll Show You'
Who can forget those ads for DiGiorno frozen pizza in the '90s, where a man convinced his date that she was eating freshly delivered pizza when in actuality she was eating frozen DiGiorno pizzas, and then a squinty-eyed French Stewart boasted "It's Not Delivery - It's DiGiorno"? Certainly not T.I., who brags that he's delivering the real, fresh stuff, unlike those rappers who're passing off their DiGiorno-style stale, frozen lines as fresh delivery.
2. "I see B.o.B./ He's standing on top of Dunkin' Donuts; it's like he own it," -- Andre 3000, 'Play the Guitar'
In a guest verse on B.o.B.'s track, Andre 3k imagines his fellow ATLien standing on top of Atlanta Police Department hangout Dunkin' Donuts like he owns it. In response to Atlanta cops staking their territory by permanently parking squad cars in African-American neighborhoods, B.o.B. would be staking his territory in the cops' zone by standing atop their snack spot Dunkin' Donuts. Only question: why don't the cops go to Krispy Kreme since they're in Atlanta?
1. "Fresh s---, we on it, no matter what the joint/ You the Hornets, you lost Chris Paul, what's your point?" -- Fred Da Godson, 'Luxury Rap'
In a clever allusion to a recent NBA mega-trade, Raekwon's protege Fred Da Godson calls out other rappers for using the excuse that the beat -- or "joint" here -- they're rapping over is bad, just as the New Orleans Hornets are now complaining that they're a bad team because they lost star point guard Chris Paul when they could no longer afford him. Fred and his crew can spit a hot verse over any beat, so stop whining!
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